My 3-day Vipassana Meditation Experience

It’s funny, when I was in India I traveled miles away to Dehradun to attend my first Vipassana 10-day course. Now, a decade later, miles away from India, a Vipassana meditation center is merely a 50 mins drive away from me. 

I remember having searched for centers when I moved to Dallas, but at the time everything was closed due to COVID. I wrote the Kaufman Center off as a small center with an occasional course. It was only 2 years later when they finally restarted after COVID, that I realized it’s actually quite an active center. I jumped at the first opportunity of attending a 3-day course that was available (having done a 10-day course I am eligible for short courses, having an H1B visa I’m not privileged enough for 10 days of leave). I did one course in Jan 2023, and one in May 2023. This blog is a mishmash of my Vipassana experiences.

I drove to the center after dropping Kero off at his sitter’s place. Maybe I should start early next time. 50 mins turn into 2 hours on a Friday evening in Dallas traffic. The center is just 5 mins off of i175. But it is in a very rural part of Kaufman and is very remote. Those 5 mins driving through ranches, cows and horses, an occasional dog, pickup trucks, empty sidewalks, old houses can totally land you on the sets of “Courage, the cowardly dog”. Finally, a small sign at the turn signals Vipassana Drive, no outlet.

On both occasions that I have done the course at Kaufman, I have arrived late. So I missed the first hellos and evening snacks. I directly landed into noble silence (the mandatory no-talking policy for entire course length) and evening hunger pangs(the last meal of the day is served at 12 noon and only ginger water is served in the evening). 

The rooms here are much more “luxurious” than they were in India. You get a room to yourself, one single bed, one blanket, one pillow, a cupboard, a shower with hot water, a restroom, and a basin all of which fit nicely in 100 sqft. The moment I arrive I start my own OCD ritual. I take out everything from my bag and arrange it in the cupboard. I unpack as if I am going to stay here for a month. 

My room at the Vipassana Center

The course begins with the familiar gong sound. The meditation hall has the perfect lighting and temperature conducive to calmness(or falling asleep). The recording begins, you close your eyes and the familiar deep voice of S.N. Goenka welcomes you. Almost like a father, his voice holds your hand and takes you through the entire course, one breath at a time. I will not go into details about what the technique is. There is a plethora of videos, books, and discourses on the topic. Also, the reader of this blog will sleep, if I make an effort to explain the immensely simple-to-understand and hard-to-follow technique.

In a nutshell, you realize about the ephemeral nature of everything, through experience. You concentrate your mind to observe sensations, gross and subtle on your body and train your mind to treat them with equality, thereby teaching your mind to not mindlessly react. You also realize through observing these sensations, that everything which arises, sooner or later, passes away. As rightly said by the old granny in “Before Midnight”, everything is ephemeral (Wonder if she took Vipassana courses).

Now for the fun part, the schedule; no one in their sane mind would sign up for this course schedule. Thankfully, I didn’t read the schedule before my first course. When I saw it printed on the blue booklet and then on every possible wall in the center I thought to myself “How do I run away from here? Surely one could pretend to be sick. Only breakfast and lunch, getting up at 4am, not saying a single word, how the hell will I do this?” I was to realize that these are actually the easy things. The hard part is sitting all day and meditating. Observing your breath and your sensations when your back or your leg may be hurting, but you must watch it equanimously, is even harder than it sounds.

So, the gong went off at 4 am. I usually have no issues waking up early, especially when I haven’t slept the entire night so I was up at 3:45 am. After freshening up, I went outside. It was still very dark and I could see the stars. At the beginning of every course, they take away all forms of entertainment from you; your phone, headphones, pens, paper, books, etc. But they can’t take away the sky, so I still got my fill of entertainment for a few mins every morning, observing the pitch-dark rural Texan sky. Then begins the meditation at 4:30 am and along with it the struggles to stay awake. One might hear an occasional snore. The thing that keeps you going is often the breakfast at 6:30. (Did I mention, growling tummies is another common sound in the meditation hall). 

The moment the 6:30 gong rings, everybody rushes to the dining halls. The food in Vipassana courses is pristine, and there is a reason I use that word. If you give me the option to eat at all of the Michelin-star restaurants in the world and to eat one meal at a Vipassana course, I would choose the latter. And this comes from a self-proclaimed no-accolades-to-prove-it foodie. While the food tastes good, it’s more about how I feel later. You see usually, I am pretty sure every time I put something in my tummy, my gut retorts back saying ” Are you serious? You expect me to put up with this cheesy, greasy, processed, sugary, glyphosate-filled fake food?”. But at Vipassana courses, after eating the meals, I often hear my gut thanking me.

Then comes some rest and an entire day of meditation. In the meditation hall, one typically gets a thin meditation cushion. But there is the option to take chairs, benches, cushions, and pillows of all sizes. As the course progresses you see people experimenting with different configurations to sit with ease. Pillow forts come up in place of almost every meditation cushion, each as unique as the other. I think all the meditation brings out the hidden creativity in people. As for me, I haven’t found the right combination yet.

After a long day of meditation come the evening discourses. It’s a one-hour recording of S.N. Goenka explaining the technique. A lot of questions that I had during the day, while practicing the technique get answered through these discourses. It’s lights out at 10 pm and even with a very real possibility of insects, your mind drifts off to sweet sleep.

So, on goes the course. It’s a funny feeling, for you want it to end and continue at the same time. You want to return to the comforts of “regular” life but also you don’t want the state you are in to end. It’s very odd, every time the course ends. I try to prolong returning to the world. I don’t talk even after the noble silence is over unless I have to and I keep my phone off for as long as I can keep it, before giving up to Google Maps. It’s hard to capture the experience or even a glimpse of what Vipassana is, in one blog.

For me, it has changed my life. Earlier I used to often feel that I am falling I a bottomless pit and will never come out of it. Vipassana has added a bottom to that pit. No matter what happens in life; no matter what goes wrong or right, I can still sit and watch my breath. This simple realization has given me immense solace. I am much more compassionate to myself and others. I still get angered but at least a volcano doesn’t erupt every time that happens(Maybe some smoke here and there). It’s a long way to go, to achieve what Goenkaji says each of us is bound to achieve, but one breath at a time we inch closer. I feel immensely grateful, that I found my way to Vipassana. It’s 10 pm and way past the bedtime of a Vipassana returned Sadhak. So signing off. 

Resources:

Vipassana Meditation – https://www.dhamma.org/en/index

Kaufman Center – https://siri.dhamma.org/

S.N. Goenka – https://www.dhamma.org/en/about/goenka